So this is Georgia. Normally a pretty easy going kid. Girly AF. Loves ponies and pink and all things little girls like. But she’s a third child and she’s four. So try getting into an argument with her. This kid can argue over anything. She can argue about not wearing socks. She’ll sit at the table and have a staring contest with me for two hours over not finishing her dinner. She can fight with me about what shoes she’s wearing. And don’t even dare try to tell her that bikini top and bottoms should match.
It usually goes something like the following sequence of pictures. “Georgia, you should take your clothes off to go swimming and just have your bathing suit on”— That’s all I said. and guess what…she didn’t listen and the dog splashed her shirt, which I fucking told her to take off in the first place and she runs away crying because I’m a bad mom who didn’t bring a change of clothes. Well if you had listened to me, it wouldn’t be wet ya little shithead.
When your grandmother tells you to pick your battles, this is the kid she has in mind. So now, she goes to school in snow boots and a princess Anna dress with no socks because I don’t have the balls to tell her to change.
So in case you’re fighting with your asshole kid right now about what to wear or to finish their cereal or for whatever stupid reason we find ourselves fighting with them over, here’s something to make you smile
10 things that are easier than winning an argument with a four year old
1. Trying to shave ‘down there’ at 9 months pregnant
2. Spending less than $100 on a trip to target
3. Scrolling through your Instagram feed and NOT seeing a fucking Starbucks cup
4. Keeping the shoe area in a house with four kids organized
5. Winning a twitter battle with Trump (well, this may be a close one)
6. Doing an over achieving Pinterest activity like filling eggshells with paint and throwing them at things (yes, this is a thing, and no, I sure as hell have not and will not do it but I bet it’s still easier than fighting with Georgia)
7. Hiding the Nordstrom packages with your $300 purse that just came from your husband
8. ONLY drinking one cup of coffee a day
9. Answering your 8 year olds question about where babies come from
10. Finding, taming, and riding a wild unicorn while simultaneously having the best hair day ever
Did I miss anything? What else is easier than fighting with these little shits?
Good luck mommas! Rock the shit outta today✌🏻