A mom’s guide to not losing her shit this summer…

With school almost out, I’ve been seeing a lot of blog posts and articles about ‘the mom’s guide to the best summer ever with your kids’ or ‘101 awesome ways to enjoy your summer with your little Angels’ Well, here’s my take on that: ‘A mom’s guide to not losing her shit this summer’ 
1. Don’t sign up for summer camps. Hear me out. I have four kids. Of course none of them can go to the same camp so I end up spending my summer being a fucking shuttle. Guess what kids, we’re doing ‘clean up horse shit and don’t complain camp’

2. Buy them some type of shelter so they can’t complain about coming inside every 2.3 minutes. I was researching a tee pee….yes,this is how desperate it am. I’m going to shelter my kids in a tee pee for the summer 

3. Don’t buy arts and crafts. Then, when you don’t have any motivation to make fucking paper bag puppets with four kids, you won’t feel so bad. And you will get a break from the horrible glitter infestation that breaks out during every school year. 

4. Do yourself a favor and don’t buy watermelon. There are no hacks to cutting it. Pinterest is a liar. And if you’re anything like me, you buy it to let it sit on the counter a rot. Then buy another one and repeat. 

5. Accept the fact that they will each change 317 times a day and throw wet bathing suits all over the floor. The quicker you accept that your house will smell like dirty laundry and mold, the better. If wine helps you to come to terms with this, then so be it 

6. Stock up on said wine. You will not be dragging four kids into a liquor store and you will NEVER be alone for the next two months. So treat this like an emergency and be prepared. 

7. Set the bar low. If you plan on doing nothing that day, then surprise yourself and actually get dressed, awesome! Anything is better than nothing. And you’d be surprised at what counts as ‘anything’

In all honesty, kids don’t need much to have an awesome summer. They don’t need a craft room that Joanna Gaines would envy, they don’t need to go on crazy day trips, or be signed up for every summer camp under the sun. They just need to have time to be kids, play outside, do nothing, run in the rain, read, hike, bike, make believe and none of these things cost money or require a lot of energy or should even have your involvement for that matter. So instead of running out and stocking up on all these supplies that other lists tell you to get, enjoy your last few days of quiet and do something for yourself. They don’t need anything to make for an awesome summer. And besides, you’re going to lose your shit whether you prepare or not, so why bother?