So it’s 8:30 am. My day is already fucked. I didn’t wake up early. My animals are not fed and I can see them staring down towards the house with hate in their eyes. I didn’t do any laundry this morning so I’ll think about being behind all day. I’ve called all of my children assholes in my mind and and had some type of argument with all four, even the six month old. How do you even argue with a six month old?
We had no milk for cereal!!! How dare I break that important mom commandment!!! And my husband complained that I didn’t pack him chips yesterday (like it’s the end of the world) so I told him to pack his own fucking lunch and he left the house with a package of ritz crackers in his hand and we didn’t say goodbye to each other. Oaks peed in my bed and now I have to change all the sheets that I just washed yesterday. I went to get a cup of coffee from my keurig and forgot to put the cup underneath and now my coffee is conveniently located all over the kitchen counter and floor.
So after everyone left, well, except for me, Oaks, and Georgia (because I’m NEVER alone), I got to thinking how when one thing goes wrong, everything else seems to follow. And I totally traced it back to myself. Because I didn’t wake up at the ass crack of dawn, I didn’t get the few things done that make me feel like I accomplished something, then my sense of control goes out the window and I react totally different than the sane, normal version of myself. Then my little people respond to my snarky responses. My husband’s usually harmless jokes (which even in a good mood, are not funny) become triggers for me and 💥, everything is a mess, there’s tears, yelling, and my day is ruined.
So because the saying is true, happy wife, happy life, I need to find a way to stop this snowball on mornings like this and get my mood better, even when it doesn’t start out like I thought.
So now I’m sitting in my favorite chair in my favorite corner of my room, Georgia is plunked in front of the tv, Oaks is on the floor with a binky in his mouth playing with a package of wipes, and I am drinking a cup of tea (because coffee in my mind relates to productivity, and I don’t want to get anything done right now), and I’m writing. I put myself in a time out and it’s working. I’ll get the other shit done or maybe I won’t today but for now, I’m doing what I need to do to reset myself so I’m not the mom of the year I was this morning when they get off the bus this afternoon. Maybe I’ll even apologize to shawn. Or not. Maybe I’ll just be pack him chips tomorrow and he’ll know that I love him. Sitting in my chair, I’m laughing out loud looking down at my mug “best mom ever” ha! My day is no longer fucked….